Monday, September 14, 2009

The Hook

Aside from two hundred words on the plane, I didn't do any writing while I was gone. I did, however, work on my hook -- the blurby paragraph thing that teases readers/agents/editors/etc into reading your book.

Here's what I came up with:

When Greg Vandenberg awakes to find a masked man attacking his daughter Becca, he does what he must to protect her. But when the police remove the mask, Greg's world is shaken once more -- the masked man is actually his neighbor and best friend. While the people in town insist on calling him a hero, Greg must come to terms with his guilt over killing his best friend and leaving the wife, Carol, a widow. But small towns aren't very forgiving; those same people who congratulate Greg are determined to crucify the dead man's memory, and Carol must figure out how to protect her children before someone else gets hurt. Meanwhile Becca is clinging to a secret that, if revealed, could make moving on impossible.


I'm a little concerned that I make this sound too thillerish. I think it's more along the lines of women's fiction, and while there is some intrigue, it's not scary or anything like that.

I still need to write the conclusion, and I'm hoping I can finally get my head into it this week.

How's your writing coming along? Have a hook for your current wip you'd like to share?

23 comments:

Allen said...

Welcome back.

Writing going slow. Stop. Will write again someday. Stop.

I think I am a much better telegram writer than a novelist. Too bad there isn't much call for telegrams these days.

Melanie Avila said...

Allen, I think you may have found the next trend, lol.

Jenna said...

I wish.

I've been tinkering with my premise/hook and I'm just not there, or maybe I'm just not happy with it :(.

Writing's going ok. I just finished a short story I want to enter in a contest and I'm thinking of tearing apart an old fiction WIP for some non-fiction article ideas. Then it's on to a WIP that's I set aside about a year--one that I want to write so bad but am afraid I can not do it justice. I'm thinking of doing a modified version of NaNo on it this year?????????

Melanie Avila said...

Jenna, I still don't think this is "it", but since I want to keep querying The Other Side I figured I need to have something ready in case I get asked about other projects. Dare to dream...

That's exciting that you're working on several things. A modified version of NaNo would be cool. I'm not singing up this year but I might use it informally to help me with some goals.

MeganRebekah said...

Just found your blog, and I'm definitely intrigued by that hook. It sounds like something I'd read!

Janna Qualman said...

Ooh, I love it! Sounds awesome, and very drawing. But it definitely has suspense written all over it. (Pun intended. ;) If it's women's fiction, who's the main character? It feels like we're going to be reading from the dad's POV. Is it Carol, though? Make it from her angle.

Good thinking, you. I need to work on a blurby paragraph.

Melanie Avila said...

Welcome MeganRebekah! Thanks. :)

Melanie Avila said...

Janna, it has three POVs -- Greg, Carol, and Becca -- which is why I want to include all three in the blurb. It opens in Greg's perspective which is why I start this way, but you're right, I don't want it to sound like it's all him.

Janna Qualman said...

Oh, that's great! And very important. Maybe three separate paragraphs would clarify those distinct views?

Melanie Avila said...

Janna, I thought of doing three paragraphs but wasn't sure if that looks like too much, even though the quantity would be the same.

I DO like that idea, though. :)

Janna Qualman said...

I get what you mean, because you don't want to overwhelm the small space alotted with too much text. I guess just give it some thought and weigh your options. You'll figure out the best way. :)

Melanie Avila said...

Exactly. :)

Nadine said...

Exciting!! I like it!!

Don't have a hook for my WIP just yet - the old one doesn't work anymore. That's my goal in the next few weeks.

JLC said...

That hook has me hooked! :)

I have a (horror) short story that is picking at my brain, but I haven't had a chance to get it onto paper yet.

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks Nadine! I swear I'm going to finish this thing so I can send it to you. :)

Melanie Avila said...

Oh, and is the hook you need to work on for the book I read? I'm happy to help if you need it.

Melanie Avila said...

JLC, mission accomplished. ;)

Erica Orloff said...

Sounds like a Jodi Picault (i.e., I don't think it necessadily sounds thrillerish). I AM INTRIGUED!!!!!!!!
E

Melanie Avila said...

Erica, that's funny you mention her because it was after reading My Sister's Keeper last month that it first occurred to me that it might be women's fiction.

I don't think of WF as being something all about women, but about issues that women like to read about. No?

EriCan said...

Love the hook! I would definitely read that one.

My WIP is going okay. I'm at around 17,000 words so far. My hook is on my blog, and you've already seen it!

Hope the toe's feeling better today :)

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks Erica! I'm jealous of your words because even though my wip is much longer, I'm struggling with getting back into the writing.

Pink Ink said...

It sounds like a thriller to me, Melanie. But you say it's not, mmm? Very intriguing premise.

Robin said...

I love it! It definitely makes me want to read more, and that's the total point, right?