Friday, August 14, 2009

Flash Fiction Friday

Yes, I have another another flash fiction piece to share, but this one is over at Lurker Monkey's blog.

The prompt this month is "Love Hesitates" and the entries are nothing like what I expected. I highly recommend you read through this week's posts. There will also be a final entry on Monday.

I'd love to hear what you think!

13 comments:

JLC said...

Read it! I love the line about pouring concrete into her brain. That was a very strong image that I believe completely describes a feeling many of us have experienced. Very cool. :)

Nadine said...

I thought it was great!

As I was reading, I first thought it was about their first kiss. The tension was definitely there!

Nice job!

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks JLC. As I commented on Jon's blog, I spent the most time on that line, so I'm glad people like it.

Melanie Avila said...

Nadine, I'm glad you could feel the tension. I like doing little snippets where you're just inside the character's head, but I hope it doesn't come off as TOO neurotic.

Nadine said...

Not neurotic at all - cause that's how I think! Unless I'm neurotic. Uh-oh... :P

EriCan said...

Beautiful piece. You have a knack for putting us there in the room watching this happen. It's a gift actually. It flowed nicely.

Ditto to JLC on the concrete on the brain line, some great visuals in this story. Well done :)

Melanie Avila said...

Nadine, you can join my club. :P

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks Erica. I enjoy these types of pieces. As I think my blog demonstrates... stream of consciousness anyone?

WendyCinNYC said...

Nice work, Mel. I enjoyed it!

Kathryn Magendie said...

I stopped by and read - left a comment *smiling*

Robin said...

*puts in request for entry into neurotic club*

Loved the way all the thoughts took place within a couple of heartbeats. So cool!

Janna Qualman said...

*like*

Well done. I could feel her hesitation.

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks everyone!

Robin, of course you can be in my club.

Janna, isn't it crazy how quickly we get used to that button? I keep trying to "Like" things on Twitter.