Friday, August 7, 2009

Flash Fiction Friday

My flash fiction group was MIA for awhile, but we have a new prompt for August. I've gone in a different direction from my normal stuff (if I even have a "normal") -- I hope you enjoy it!



Exculpation

The snack-sized bag of crackers has one hundred calories, so if I only have half an ounce of cheese, I'll stay with the recommended two hundred calories per snack.

Hmm.

Did Jeannie buy these crackers? They aren't the brand I normally get. What if the calorie to fat ratio is different from what I'm used to? This could screw up an entire week of planning.

I've already been to the gym three days this week. I was supposed to go this morning but last night's glass of wine turned into three and I slept through my alarm.

I definitely shouldn't eat these crackers.

Maybe there's something better in the fridge. Well, not better, but healthier. Celery, carrots, cucumber… ugh. What was I thinking? I've got the best intentions when I'm at the grocery store, but once it's in my fridge I realize how much I detest—

Stop it! Just eat the carrots and put the crackers back. One tablespoon of Ranch won't put me over the edge. (I mean, who eats carrots without Ranch?) I need to go to the gym tomorrow to work off last night's wine, I don't need to make it worse. Maybe if I did some squats. Yeah. I can do them while I decide what to eat.

… seven, eight, nine… I could have a yogurt. Ooh, Jeannie must have gone to a different store because I've never seen this flavor.

Caramel Raspberry Soufflé.

Mmm.

I cannot eat that. I don't care how scrumptiously decadent it is. I had wine. Three glasses. And I skipped the gym.

Unless… what does that say?

It's Light!


*****

The prompt was Light.

22 comments:

Jen said...

Haha! Nicely done, Mel. I like it. I wish I could say I've had that conversation with myself, but alas...I would have just eaten the crackers. *grin*

JLC said...

Very cute! I've thought that way, but only for a few seconds. These hips were made for holding babies. :)

Melanie Avila said...

Jen, I, too, eat the crackers. In fact, when I finished it last night, I ate crackers. :)

Melanie Avila said...

JLC, I try to rationalize with myself and since I eat healthy for the most part I don't have to berate myself too often.

Laura Martone said...

I have DEFINITELY had that conversation with myself. And I think it's funny, Mel, that you interpreted "light" that way. Even though I'm ON a diet, I probably would've gone with illumination instead... oh, how the brain doth work.

I've been trying my hand at flash fiction, so thanks for the funny example. I'm hoping to submit a few things to a new literary journal called 3 Blind Elephants, but I have to master the short style first... I'm a long-form writer at heart.

Melanie Avila said...

Laura, I like to go the opposite of my initial reaction with these prompts. Makes things much more interesting, imo. :)

I can't seem to get interested in regular short stories. I like flash and novels.

Natasha Fondren said...

I know that conversation well, LOL! I'm always bargaining with myself! When I was moving out, I rid the contents of my fridge on Thursday. I expected to leave on Friday, but it took until Tuesday. So I lived on nuts.

Now that I've gone through the detox process for all my food addictions, I'm really trying not to eat the bad foods. But... oh man, my best friend is ordering pizza tonight!

EriCan said...

Great story!

Those thoughts are so familiar hee hee... Sadly, the higher calorie item wins with me. As I chew on the fifth mini hershey bar of the day!

Melanie Avila said...

Natasha, I think I've figured out why you were so tired those last couple days -- you needed a balanced diet!

It helps me not to have the bad things in the house, but every now and then Ibis will come home with potato chips. Salty things are my weakness.

Melanie Avila said...

Erica, I like this story because I think most of us can relate to it on some level. I've totally done a couple leg lifts or squats to justify something I shouldn't be eating.

And now I want pizza.

wntrgrrl said...

Hahahahaha! I was wondering where you were going with this... Cute! and very universal! We can all identify with both the argument and the rationalization.

Robin said...

Makes me hungry for carrots with ranch dressing. I really like the way you go through the thought processes! So true, so true. . .

Melanie Avila said...

wntrgrrl, I figured this was something we could all relate too.

Robin, originally I was going to have her be obsessed with actual calorie counting, but that would have required some research since I'm so not that girl, and I changed my mind.

Nadine said...

LOL - Loved it!! I've totally had moments like this!!

Well done!!

Terry said...

Very good! I like the obsessiveness that comes across throughout this story. Great work.

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks Terry! I've missed this group. :)

quez said...

Very cool take on the subject! I would have left the crackers and gone for the ice cream... which is why my Light writing had nothing to do with food! :-)

Gabriel Novo said...

That was hilarious and totally unexpected. I could almost hear the "squee" when she said light.

Great stream-of-conscious. The flow was smooth without getting too caught up in the tangents that come all to easily to this style of writing.

Good job putting us in the character's head, I even felt the borderline OCD attack. The length was snack sized as well which fit perfectly.

Melanie Avila said...

Quez, I'm a salty snack girl, so if I have a choice I skip the sweets. UNLESS I can combine them. :)

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks Gabriel. I like your comment about it being snack-sized.

Kappa no He said...

I liked the Bridget Jones' feel to this piece, young girl bargaining with herself. It had a slightly manic feel which worked great with the subject. Very good!

terrie

Bailey said...

This is great - I'd have just eaten the crackers, especially having already had the wine. I wonder what conversation she had with herself before the 2nd and 3rd glass of wine. Oh wait, liquid calories don't count! (Hah...at least not until morning...!)

Nice job!