It's only two sheets right now, but give it another day or so…
A couple weeks ago I had a big mending project on my hands, but I didn't mention it to many people because it can be easily misinterpreted. You see, we've ripped our sheet. Nearly in half.
Yes, the one that goes on top.
(Pauses for jokes about wedding sheets and well-placed openings. Got that out of your system? Not yet. Okay, I can wait another minute.)
That's why I haven't mentioned this sooner.
We don't have a blanket or comforter on the bed so the sheet… (you know, there's really no good way to say this) … sees a lot of action / takes a lot of abuse / has a lot of wear and tear. The rip started out innocently enough -- just a couple inches with a couple smaller tears alongside it -- but it grew to over a foot in one night. That's when I decided to take action. I don't have a sewing machine and while I don't normally mend on such a large scale, it's still more or less the same stitch.
Well, the fix lasted a couple days, and now it's almost four feet long. Most mornings I wake up with my leg through the tear and my half of the sheet twisted through the opening. I think this is why sheets don't have openings. Very inconvenient.
As luck would have it I'm going home in a couple weeks so I plan to buy new ones then. I could get them here, but we don't have a lot of stores to choose from so our options are limited. The ones we've found are fairly expensive and usually quite scratchy. So we need to make this one last two more weeks. (Actually, Ibis needs to make it last another month. Sorry honey.)
I'm about to just cut it all the way so we have a his & hers set. No more fighting over the sheet! Actually, it's been so hot I've been sleeping on top of the covers anyway, which is how I think it tore in the first place.
So, where did the phrase "three sheets to the wind" originate?