Sunday, January 13, 2008

I'm Listening

Today is a sad anniversary. It was one year ago today that Ibis' mother passed away. While it's barely noon, all day I've felt like she's been trying to tell me something.

I'm not an overly superstitious person. I avoid walking under ladders and throw salt over my left shoulder if it spills. And knock on a lot of wood. But these are harmless superstitions, or so I tell myself anyway. I'm not a new-agey person and don't put much faith in alternate universes and all that.

However, I do listen when several things seem to point in one direction. My asthma has been acting up for the past month or so, and while it's been getting better, I occasionally have a hard time catching my breath while falling asleep.

Last night I was having a dream about my high school - a fairly common setting when I'm asleep and most likely prompted by the email earlier this week - when it transformed into Ibis smothering me. Not pillow-over-the-face smothering, just an arm accidentally draped across my throat with too much pressure.

In my dream I was gasping for air, trying to scream as I clawed at his arm. I awoke to much the same thing. His arm wasn't over me, but I was definitely struggling for air and making a lot of noise. Ibis rarely wakes up when I have a bad dream - unless I wake him up he'd never know - but this made him sit upright to see what was wrong.

That's when I looked at the clock. It was 5am, the exact same time, one year ago, that Ibis called to tell me his mother died. (He was in Mexico and I was in Chicago). Ultimately her lungs failed her, and without getting into too much detail, she couldn't breathe. Much like I was experiencing just then.

I commented "that's freaky" but refused to tell Ibis my revelation. He needed more sleep and I knew that would keep him awake, so I told him several hours later over coffee.

About an hour ago I was straightening up the living room and when I went to put away a DVD, a picture jumped from the shelf. I bumped it, but I've done that a hundred times without knocking anything over. This frame fell off the shelf, the glass shattering.

It was the one photo of his mother we have framed.

Like I said before, I don't buy into a lot of what my dad would call hocus-pocus stuff, but this was too weird to ignore. I'm not sure what she might be trying to tell me, but I'm listening.


Dawn said...

I would have to ask someone who knows about this stuff... but it seems like there has been A LOT of contact with the other world lately. You are not the only one.

I wonder if the veil between the Earth and beyond is exceptionally thin right now. A Wiccan holiday is coming up... Imbolc... so it could be. (I hope I don't offend you with this observation... I'm pretty open-minded about religion.)

Melanie Avila said...

Not offensive. If you came on here twirling fairy dust I may have ignored you, but I've heard explanations like that before.

Let me know if you find out anything.

Mel's Mom said...

Maybe she's just trying to tell you that she's listening too.

brokenfingers said...

Get out of the house!! Get out of the house now!!

Don't you watch horror movies?!

And uh, don't go into the basement!!! ;)

Melanie Avila said...

Good thing we don't have a basement...

Turkey said...

I completely understand how you feel. I have had many moments like that. I enjoy these little hints. It renews my hope that this life may not end with nothingness.

Dawn said...

I spoke to my friend... the veil between here and there is about to thicken with Imbolc in mid-to-late February. Between Samhain (October) and Imbolc the veil between worlds is the thinnest.

My theory--not corroborated by any Wiccans thus far--is that spirits are trying to send their messages over before the veil thickens next month. Like us, they're kinda lazy and want to do things when it's easiest. (Or maybe that is just common sense?)

As far as what your mother-in-law is trying to tell you... keep listening. You'll know when you need to.

Or maybe she's just saying hi. ::sprinkles fairy dust::

Kate Boddie said...

* fairy dust, fairy dust, fairy dust*


The last thing you want to do it ignore signs. It's no coincidence that you're getting them. Just listen. She'd made her presence known and once she feels confident that your ears are open, you'll know what she's trying to say. With "nonsensitive," (just my word for people that don't experience this on a regular basis) the most common form of communication is a person's dreams. Keep your eyes open when you're asleep (how oxymoronic!). If she has something to say, she'll probably say it there or she'll just keep throwing signs at you. Like Dawn said, she might just be saying hi, she might be checking to make sure you're doing good by Ibis (as any mother is wont to do) but she'll make her reasons known soon enough.

Melanie Avila said...

So if I dream in Spanish, it's her? I hear what you're saying. I haven't received any other signs since my mom pointed out she might be trying to tell me she's the one listening.

After the turmoil of last week, that would make sense.

Thanks for the input everyone!

spyscribbler said...

Definitely freaky! That's really kind of scary. I definitely believe in spirits and that our souls can see them at times.

Morgan Dempsey said...

The first thing that leaped out at me was "get your lungs checked." Could be what she's trying to tell you (or what your subconscious is trying to tell you through symbols your conscious mind understand - if you want an alternative option).

Stay well :)