Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Side Note

I wasn't completely honest yesterday when I said I can't think of anything to blog about. I have plenty of things on my mind, but most of them fall into the category of "things I don't discuss on my blog." Do you have those categories?

In an example of how the blog cosmos works, Amy at Suburban Kvetch posted yesterday about the issue of privacy for those who put their lives out there for everyone to see. This comment in particular struck me: "There are off-limits topics, I assume, for almost everyone, and if it’s not off-limits then maybe it’s just something they choose not to write about."

She also quote Metrodad, a well-known parent-blogger, who said "there’s one important aspect of my personality that rarely surfaces in my writing; I am a deeply private person."

I try to present myself in a way that people feel like they know the real me. I don't misrepresent myself (as people who know me in real life can attest to), but I also keep some things private. Sure, I discuss them with my close friends -- who doesn't? -- but there are limits to what I want to open up to the Blogosphere.

That said, I'm excited to answer your questions, and I'd love for more of you to leave a comment and let me know what's on your mind. There are some great suggestions already and I plan to hit them up when I'm drawing a blank. Or butting up against that locked door.

Finally, two points to Erica for figuring out the Friends reference yesterday!


Jenna said...

Wow. I assumed everyone had those categories. Rarely is my life fodder for my blog...I've tried to keep it to writing, or my life as it relates to writing. I know some people's blogs are more on the personal side but yeah, I figure most people only share the shiny parts, like most people do in real know make it all seem so much better than it really is.

For most blogs I could care less about the personal crap (yours aside of course Mel ;))--I read blogs to be informed. But that said, a personal thing or two can make you feel more connected to that blogger and maybe in turn a more loyal reader...BUT I hate, absolutely HATE, when a blogger eludes to something or makes reference to something and then says they can't discuss it. If you can't and won't discuss why even elude to it. It's like they want to say, "I've gotta a seeeeecret and youuuuuuuu can't knowwwwwww it." (Yes that was me trying to sing it :))

Pink Ink said...

I am like you, Melanie. Some days, I deliberately avoid writing about some things I consider private. And then other times, I feel like I need to connect with others and to heck with privacy.

It just depends on the mood of the day, I guess.

PS Btw, I think you are one of the nicest bloggers out there. Very down-to-earth and relatable. Thanks for visiting my blog a lot. :-)

Penguin said...

Nope, me I am an open book.

An open book with no pages.
To say I am private is the most understated statement ever known to be uttered by a human being.
I don't do facebook, twitter, or any of those social networks because of the information they keep on a person.
I don't fill out surveys, registration cards, or anything else that where they want to steal information and sell it to someone else.
They way I feel is if you want to make money on me you best be doing something tangible for me.

So one might wonder how I got this way, simple, I work in the computer/network field. I know what data is being collected and what its mis-uses could be.
And it keeps getting scarier every day.

Melanie Avila said...

Jenna, I assume most people keep certain things private, too, but some of the blogs out there make me wonder...

I know I've been guilty of eluding to things here, but I try to avoid it because it drives me CRAZY! I have a rule with Ibis (that he doesn't always follow) that if you bring something up he MUST tell me. No changing your mind.

I love your singing. :)

Melanie Avila said...

Pink, aww thanks. :)

I think I'm the same way, where a lot of it depends on my mood. I do try to check myself when I'm in the mood to share everything -- you can't take it back the next day!

Melanie Avila said...

Way to go scaring everyone Penguin! :P I kid. I know you're serious and I know that you understand how much of our information is out there.

So does that mean I won't convince you to join facebook? ;)

WendyCinNYC said...

There is a lot that I keep private, mostly about my family. I don't feel like it's okay to post personal things about someone else, especially children. So if my kid's having problems in school or starting puberty, you aren't going to hear about it on my blog.

I keep family stuff general and positive. Not to be a big ole phony--we have issues just like anyone else--but to preserve some privacy, ya know?

Melanie Avila said...

Wendy, I think it's important to protect the privacy of those in our lives. They didn't choose to have a blog! I don't know if people notice, but the only person whose name I use (besides friends with blogs) is Ibis.

Natasha Fondren said...

I find most of my blogger's block is not due to lack of topics, but lack of topics that I don't want out in public, or lack of topics that aren't me endlessly whining, LOL.

I'm pretty open, though, too open, LOL.

Natasha Fondren said...

I'm tired. Do you know what I mean? Because that comment is an atrocious mess in need of editing, LOL!

Melanie Avila said...

I have to watch myself so I don't sound too snarky or cranky sometimes. I'm very sarcastic and that doesn't always translate into print -- it just sounds like whining and complaining.

Spy, I think you always have interesting topics. :)

Robin said...

I put a lot of personal stuff out there, mostly because I really want parents, particularly moms, to feel good. I want them to know they're not alone. Luckily, my family is totally twisted and crack up at their own antics.

There have been times I've asked them first before writing about something. A couple of times Kevin has asked me not to. He can be slightly shy. Alex is a total ham. He'd let me write about anything.

Melanie Avila said...

Robin, I think it's good that you at least ask them. I do admire your honesty and how much you put out there. I'm sure it helps others to know we're all a little bizarre.

Ibis doesn't read this and every now and then I'll mention that I talked about something on my blog and he gets irritated, but I'm careful not to portray him in a negative light. That's for facebook. :P

EriCan said...

Hey thanks for the (2) points- is there a blogistore I can spend them in?? LOL

I think it's only natural to keep some stuff private. Even in a world where everyone can know what you're doing at a given moment AKA Twitter, Facebook statuses, I would hope that people err on the side of caution when posting. I know I do. It's funny, a mutual writer friend of ours mentioned on Facebook about her statuses being boring- I think a lot of times we can't put what we really think out there...

That being said. I'm a total open book. My friends know pretty much everything about me; but we all have those secrets that only close friends and significant others know. At least I do.

Nice post!

Melanie Avila said...

Erica, that's true. And she's funny. not boring!

Yeah, there are many things that I've wanted to put as my status for so long, but I can't because it's just wrong...

EriCan said...

I totally agree Melanie!