Friday, July 31, 2009

A Moment of Silence

We've all experienced loss. It affects everyone differently but no matter who you are, it has affected you. Depending on how devastating that loss is, you walk away from the experience a changed person, and it becomes a part of you.

You may learn to live with it, but you never forget.

In the comments of Wednesday's post, where I asked what you would like to know about me, JLC suggested I write a poem.

I'm out of practice, so bear with me.


The longing sneaks up on me.
An ache in the hollow of my chest
that cannot be filled.

Burning with regret,
Could I have done something different?

The pain is as fresh as the day it first arrived.
Anguish pricks at my senses
as the memories roll through my mind.

Wondering what went wrong
leads to endless games of what-if,
yet the outcome never changes.

So I push it to the corners of my memory,
and lock it tightly in its box,
only pulling it out on special occasions.

Still wishing it would have ended differently,
but accepting that the grief is all I have left.


JLC said...

"..the grief is all I have left."
Sometimes that is so true.

Very nicely done! :D Yay Mel! *shakes pom poms*

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks. I wrote this pretty quickly so I'm sure if I look at it too much I'll want to change everything.

Janna Qualman said...

It's very good, Melanie. Just beautiful.

Penguin said...

I always thought poetry was suppose to be written once.
That way it forces you to accept the thought flow to words.

But then again, I cannot write or convey thought worth a crap.

But I like the poem.

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks Janna.

Penguin, I think you may have just caused a few poets to rip out their last remaining hairs. I know people who agonize over every word and its placement. :)

ElanaJ said...

This is magnificent. Great job!! And it's true. Loss is something we can all identify with.

Janna Qualman said...

^ Ditto. "Magnificent" is a great word.

Melanie Avila said...


Thanks Elana and Janna. :)

Robin said...

That was lovely, Melanie! So sad. It makes me think of all the things I wish I had done differently. Like adopt. . .

EriCan said...

It struck a chord with me Mel. It is eloquent and heartfelt. I love it.

I've experienced a great loss in my life, my father to be exact, and somehow you found the words to describe how it feels. Great job!

That's what I love about poetry- there are many ways to interpret it.

Natasha Fondren said...

Oh yes! And sometimes the grief, although painful, is a little sweet, because you can feel them for just a second more.

I love this poem. Makes me remember. and open that box a little. :-)

Melanie Avila said...

Thanks, I'm glad it's touched so many of you. :)