Friday the 13th

Crap. How did this day sneak up on me? I'm usually very aware of an approaching Friday the 13th and take the necessary precautions to prevent anything bad from happening, but not this time. I didn't realize it until I turned on my computer an hour ago and saw the little icon in the upper right corner. (Which, by the way, is often my only clue to what day it is. Side effect of not having a job.)

I should have known this day was coming because all week, nature has been - how do I say this - attacking me. On Monday, I was checking a few things online before going to be when a jumping, buzzing creature landed on my back. I leaped from my chair, screaming and swatting at my clothes, expecting to see a cockroach or wasp. Instead it was a cricket. Yes, a cricket. I didn't know we had those in Mexico. I chased him outside and figured that was the end of it. He's come back a couple more times but yesterday I swept him off the balcony so I don't imagine I'll be seeing him any time soon.

Wednesday I was hanging out at my friend's house. She has two cats and two dogs, plus three wild iguanas that patrol the outer wall of her property. My friend knows the iguanas eat the plants when no one is around but for the most part the animals have an agreement on their boundaries and they don't breech their respective turfs. Until Wednesday. I must have an iguana-friendly scent because the one they've nicknamed Kong came climbing down the wall, into the plants, and right towards me. I didn't want to move until her boyfriend came outside and saw it but I was freaked out having that thing so close to me. These are black with blue markings and look street tough. As soon as the boyfriend appeared he said, "Move! Those things can attack!" and off I ran. It stayed in the plants long enough for the older dog to spot him, then climbed back to his side of the wall.

Last night should have been the real clue that something was up. There's a giant wasp that comes to visit me every afternoon. He flies back and forth through the apartment and leaves me alone unless I accidentally end up in his path. Then we do a little dance trying to get out of each others' way. There are always bugs near the ceiling, flying near the lights (why is that, really?) and I've learned to ignore them.

So yesterday this one bug was flying around the living room for over an hour and when I turned off the lights and went to bed, he followed the light. I quickly turned off that as well. Not two minutes later there was a buzzing right in my ear. I swatted at my head, sat up, swiped at the pillow, then turned on the light. It was a bee! And it was back in the light. I woke up Ibis who grabbed my shorts and swung at it. He missed, so now it was really pissed off. He trapped it in the light to "heat it up" (hmmm, ok...) then hit it with my shorts again. Declaring it dead, he went back to sleep.

Except it wasn't. I could hear it buzzing so peeked at the wall along the head on the bed and it was crawling towards me!

"Honey, it's not dead."

"It's dead."

"No, I'm looking at it right now and it's coming to get me." I grabbed my flip-flop, ready to strike. I have a big thing about not killing bugs that can squish so I just swiped at it with my shoe. That knocked it to the floor, where it walked in circles until I decided it couldn't climb anymore. I was worried I'd wake up with an injured bee in my throat, but when I woke up this morning it was dead on the bathroom floor.

I can't wait to see what's in store for today.