Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Gah!

I was all set to write a post about the unexpected side effects of our new hammock -- number one being my bladder is getting stronger because the second one of us gets up the other one steals it -- but then the cockroaches attacked.

I, being the nice wife that I am, was looking for the steel wool to clean a grill pan that Ibis had used for lunch. I opened a drawer and two cockroaches scurried out of a stack of nesting measuring cups. I screeched a little and jumped back, but continued my search. I didn't find the steel wool, but as the drawer was still open, I figured I should make sure there weren't any more inside. I flipped them out of the drawer.

Big mistake.

Apparently they took the name "nesting" too literally.

TEN -- I kid you not, TEN -- cockroaches scrambled out of the stacked cups RIGHT AT ME!! I screamed and jumped out of the way, right into the garbage can that was sitting out. The full garbage can. But I couldn't stop because they were all running my way.

Now here's what I want to know: what the heck kind of creature runs AT a person who, to be fair, should be the scarier of the two (or eleven)?

I already had the bug spray out after the first two, and I went to town. Six died pretty easily -- if you count kicking and squirming for ten minutes easy -- and four more popped out while I was cleaning. At least two got away...

Needless to say I felt like I was losing my mind for the rest of the night. Every time my hair blew across my cheek I was sure one had returned to avenge it's family's death. At one point I felt like something was crawling on my foot and when I looked down there actually WAS another one nearby. That didn't help the hallucinations any.

But -- that didn't stop me from thinking of you, my devoted blog readers. The camera is usually sitting out so I snapped a couple pictures of them as they gasped their final breaths. They don't look nearly as scary in pictures as they are in real life, so I hope you'll be satisfied with a picture of my garbage instead. The black thing on the rug is the "nest."

I apologize for how blurry it is. I was still shaking...


I think maybe I'll stay in the hammock from now on. I know they can fly, but at least I'll see them coming.

33 comments:

Janna Leadbetter said...

Bleck! So it was truly a physical nest? Holy criminy, Mel.

Are those tortillas on the floor? Poor forsaken goodies. :(

You know, we've had a roach problem here this spring. Maybe no more in numbers than usual, given the weather and all that draws them in, but I'd swear they're bigger. And nastier. It's by osmosis or something, and I think of you every time I have to shoo one out the door (or worse).

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Well, they made the measuring cups into a nest. I don't know how they all fit in there because they were all over an inch long and -- I kid you not -- there were ten in there.

We have littler ones but those don't scare me anymore.

Please don't tell me you get there where you are -- I keep telling Ibis it's just Mexico...

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Oh, and yes, those are tortillas on the floor. We rarely eat them so it's funny they made it into the picture.

Janna Leadbetter said...

Oh, my skin crawls just reading about it. You'll still be on guard all day today!

Melanie Hooyenga said...

There's still a dead one near my desk that I need to deal with. I'm going to mop the floor and scrub the drawers soon.

Penguin said...

Have you ever tried mounting on pins the dead carcasses around the apartment. You know, like in the old days when they used to leave the dead bodies on sticks to warn people.
Maybe it will work for roaches.

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Egads! I'm already terrified of them avenging the deaths of their loved ones. I don't want to gloat!

Spy Scribbler said...

That is AWFUL! You have my sympathies! I'm so sorry, Melanie. You deserve a medal of honor!

I'd totally be hallucinating the same thing!

Jewel Allen said...

Sigh. I miss cockroaches.

LOL

I feel like my kids are deprived not having seen cockroaches crawl out of a cupboard. It's one of life's greatest adventures.

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Spy, I'm STILL hallucinating. I keep thinking I'm seeing things out of the corner of my mind.

I have convinced Ibis to clean out the drawers. I don't think my nerves can handle any more right now.

Oh, and you know how in movies they show creatures just streaming out of things from all directions? That's really how they do it.

*shudder*

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Pink, I have no words for you. Adventure? Hah!

Although I do see your point. When you grow up with them you lose that inherent fear... I could use that right now.

JLC said...

You know... the cockroaches visit you because you 'need to get a life'. Just sayin'

*Runs out of the blog before getting hit with Ibis's dirty frypan*

Pam said...

Oh, eww, that's all I can say really...I don't envy you at all, quite possibly in your position I'd be a gibbering wreck, you're obviously a strong woman.

Allen said...

When I was around 10 years old, my Dad caught a rather long green snake in the front yard. He kept it for us kids so that we could see they were not harmful or aggressive. Thinking my Mom, who is by the way afraid of potato bugs, might not appreciate a snake in the house, place the fellow in a jar on the carport.

With a beautiful day shaping up, my Mom decided to sweep off the carport and accidentally knocked over the jar, breaking it.

Mom screamed. I think the snake screamed. Mom ran for cover of the picnic table. The snake ran under the picnic table. Mom ran to the front exit. The snake thought it might be a good time to leave as well. The two came face to face at the carport post.

If my Dad hadn't come and picked up the snake, my sister and I would have died from laughing so hard.

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Turkey, I think you might be right.

NOT!!

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Kitten, I wasn't that strong. I was the only one home when it first happened and my throat STILL hurts from the screaming.

Once Ibis got home I lost it a little bit. I'm a clean freak and these nasty bugs crawling everywhere just pushed me over the limit.

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Allen, that sounds very funny NOW, but how long did it take her to find the humor in that story? God, I still have the heebie-jeebies.

I actually wondered last night if I think it'd be worse to have roaches or a snake. I'm terrified of snakes, too, but have never been face-to-face with one (knock on wood). I don't know. Both give me the willies.

colbymarshall said...

after a brief period of going into hiding, it looks like Mordthor is sending his minions after my friends again...

Nadine said...

They crawled out of your measuring cups. This leads me to one conclusion - you don't bake enough. :P (I know, no oven)

Sorry about the whole experience, I would be creeped out too! Ick! Maybe seeing 10 of them is a good sign. Like of good things to come!

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Colby, since this is YOUR evil minion, could you please call him off?

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Nadine, that's an excellent point. I'll be sure to yell at Ibis, again, for pushing me not to have an oven here. It's all his fault! ;)

I'm always looking for signs in things, but I don't know about that one, lol.

Anonymous said...

Roaches are my sole - but completely physically debilitating - phobia. Thanks for the nightmares...

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Believe me, mit, I understand. Now if only I could get my husband to sympathize.

erica m. chapman said...

awful just awful. I can't even imagine how horrible that must have been. I get scared of a wayward bee let alone 10 cokroaches!

I can't believe the black thing is their nest?? Wow. Unbelievable. You have my sympathy. I surely hope you don't find anymore!

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Erin, bees don't even phase me anymore. There was just a HUGE hornet in the kitchen while I was getting dinner ready and I just shooed it away.

And the black thing is what they were using for their nest (the measuring cups) -- I just pointed it out so you all could see how far I flung it, lol.

Rachel Burton said...

Ick ick ick. We had giant roaches where I grew up in FL. And no, I never got used to them. A couple of years ago when I was visiting my parents, I found a dead snake in the shower with me. That was a lot of screaming and jumping. (Though I am much, much more okay with snakes than roaches.)

Robin said...

I hate to say this, but maybe the cockroaches have been observing you,and thought they could take you. Maybe you should take up kick boxing.

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Rachel, I dread that. We have ants in the shower and occasionally daddy-long legs, but I can handle those.

I really don't know how I'll deal with a snake if I ever encounter one, but I think the "ick" factor is much lower.

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Robin, once again sweeping in as the voice of reason. :P I actually took kickboxing at a JCC back when I worked there. Ha! I can kick their butts!

If only I wasn't terrified to step on them. Did I mention one of the later ones ran over my foot? I think I blocked it out until just now. Nice of you to dredge up that memory.

*hands Robin $150*

erica m. chapman said...

Wow I wouldn't last 5 minutes in Mexico!! Every bug scares me. There was a bug pirched on my computer last night, I almost had a panic attack! Kudos to you for keeping your cool :)

Thanks, Er

Melanie Hooyenga said...

I'm okay with most bugs. I decided it's the ones that are bigger than a bite of food that send me screaming.

Robin said...

Wow. That was the easiest 150 bucks I ever made. Maybe there's a niche for this sort of thing. Ya think?

Melanie Hooyenga said...

Perhaps...