A Facebook Rantini*

First, I dug through my blog list and I cannot remember where I just read the term rantini. Basically it's a mini rant, something small you need to get off your chest but really won't affect anything important in your day. I wanted to give credit where credit is due, but I can't find you. If this is from your blog, let me know and I'll put in a link.

UPDATE: It was Amy Nathan! Thanks, Spy, for reminding me.

Now, on to my rantini.

I've been on Facebook since July and I love love love it. I've found a ton of old friends, made a few new ones, and spend countless hours playing word games. I love word games.

But. It seems to me that basic courtesy is lost on some people. Maybe they aren't socially skilled, maybe they think the internet eliminates the need for basic manners, or they just think I want 10,000 friends. I don't. At least once a week I get a friend request from someone I've never met, never talked to, never noticed on a friend's page. They don't include an introduction, they just click "Add a Friend" and wait for the magic to happen. I don't think so.

Occasionally I add the person if I see we have 20 friends in common from Absolute Write, but not always. A few weeks ago I actually sent a note to the person asking how I knew her because while we only had two mutual friends, she's from my hometown. Could be a coincidence. She wrote back saying she saw me through a friend of a friend. No further explanation, nothing friendly.

Now you're probably thinking, well duh, that's a no-brainer. Deny! Yet it still took me a couple more days to actually click "Ignore." I felt guilty afterwards, but haven't lost any sleep over it.

Yesterday I received another of these invites. No explanation of where we may know each other from, just a couple mutual friends. The invite is sitting in my requests folder, taunting me. I hate that I'm so nice and always consider everyone's feelings before doing anything. They didn't consider mine, so why should it matter?

Here's the part that kills me: would you go up to a stranger at a bookstore or mall and invite them to dinner? Or to your house to see your family photos? Or to eavesdrop on conversations with your real friends? Of course not. So why do people think it's ok to be so rude online?

I guess I've answered my question what to do here.

I will say this, one person I friended that I didn't know - Aerin - did it the right way. She said where we knew each other from and asked if we could be friends. Probably took her two seconds to write that but I clicked "Accept" without hesitation. (Maybe I should reevaluate that quick impulse, but in this case it worked out fine.)

You've probably guessed how I behave when sending friend requests, and it's worse than you think. Unless I'm 1000% certain the person knows me, I ALWAYS say where we know each other from - something that seemed more important before I added my maiden name to my ID. I friended a cousin a couple days ago that is only nineteen - we've only seen each other a handful of times in my life and I wasn't completely sure he'd recognize my name so I ALMOST said "hey, it's your cousin!" I didn't because I figured he'd think I'm crazy, but that's the ONLY reason. Yes, overkill, I know.

I think I'm going to pare down my friend list today...

Opinions?